Oh Christmas Lights

"The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,
on them has light shone... For to us a child is born."

"For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."

A little inspiration when feeling sick

I've been in bed since yesterday morning with the dreaded sick bug, throwing up everything I eat that isn't cream crackers or Shreddies. These are three things which have brought me a LOT of joy, excitement and inspiration in that time which I want to share with you on this, the third day of advent.

A short inspiring article about people, lonely and desperate finding home in another's family. I can't put into words the passion I have for this.

A cracking documentary "Solar Mamas", part of the Why Poverty series currently being run by the BBC, which again covers a subject I am passionate about, and reminded me of a handful of my fabulous ESOL students (inspiring women with little or no edcuation, illiterate, little or no family or community support, but determined to learn, to better their lives and for the good of their children.) A must-watch!

A beautifully written Christmas song. Lyrics here. Love came down. Nuff said.

God never left

I've been thinking about how Jesus coming to earth isn't "God with us" in an ethereal, squint your eyes funny and you might see him kind of sense. He was tangible, breathing, fully God, fully human, real. And his coming changed everything - after Jesus died, rose again, ascended to heaven, God never left. God with us is now God in us. Mind-blowing!

But what does that look like...?

Anticipation and advent calendars

I love advent calendars. I love the counting the days and the excitement it builds. I’ve been trying to hold back the excitement at least until December began but it’s rather difficult what with Glasgow deciding to put up all their Christmas lights and Christmas market up in mid November! For me it’s the anticipation of a beautiful time: lights, family, getting to listen to Sufjan’s new Christmas albums(!!!) and other much loved Christmas music, all the lovely Christmas food, putting up decorations, all those silly little traditions we associate with Christmas but are just lovely and fun. But can you just imagine... the whole of heaven must have been waiting with bated breath on that day all that while ago that we celebrate, Jesus’ arrival on earth. It was and is a BIG deal. God coming to earth in human form, God on a rescue mission, coming to free humanity from the clutches of sin and death… hold on, I just need to catch my breath!

Sooo the plan is (NB I'm not so good at sticking to such plans, but hold me to it!) a blogpost every day this advent to remind myself as much as anything else that Christmas celebrates Jesus coming and everything it achieved...

Written hundreds of years before he came along, in the words of the Message paraphrase of the Bible.

“For a child has been born—for us!

the gift of a son—for us!

He’ll take over

the running of the world. 

His names will be: Amazing Counselor, 

Strong God, 

Eternal Father, 

Prince of Wholeness. 

His ruling authority will grow, 

and there’ll be no limits to the wholeness he brings.” 

Isaiah 9:6-7

Colombo

The first of some very belated posts which I wrote while I was in Sri Lanka with the intention of posting as soon as I came back (we got back over 2 months ago!)

"I hadn't realised how much I love this city! For a start, this place is literally 

brimming with childhood memories for me. Worked out that over a total of 5 trips in my life-time (not including this one), I had spent almost as many months in Sri Lanka (most of which in Colombo) as in Grenoble when I lived there. It's not everyone's cup of tea methinks, but there's something about the chaos and the grime and the life in this city that I like.  I'm loving experiencing it again through adult eyes and my first-timer white husband's reactions to everything. Trishaws (also known as tuktuks or three-wheelers depending on your preference) are definitely a hot favourite: epitomising everything I love about Colombo; hilarious, lively chaos. Lovely to see various relatives I hadn't seen for a while and whom Mark had never met, though a fairly detailed diagram was required to explain complex (though in my mind not that complex!) family connections to him. And awesome to hang out with my Gran, who is 100% in her element when entertaining us, whether it's providing every possible option of Sri Lankan pudding under the sun in the time when we stayed there i.e. "Would you like a or b or c or d or e or f...?!" or making one of her loyal local trishaw drivers materialise in front of her flat entrance with the clap of a hand! And within a few days and we're already sampling some of my favourite foods/drinks which are near enough impossible to get at home: hoppers, portello, string hoppers, various curries, mangosteen, rambutan, sugartastic iced coffee = sweeeeet!

"Top table"

I was at a wedding at the weekend. When it came to the meal, it took me a while to find the table that I was at, so I ended up walking around all of them and trying to figure out what seemed like a bunch of cryptic names that didn't seem that obviously related to each other. Turns out the tables were all named after elements of the Bride and Groom's lives: a few of the names and words I didn't recognise, although Mark informed me that I should have recognised the name of the table we were sitting on - "F=ma", though in my defence it's been a long time now since standard grade physics! But I certainly instantly recognised the table name of the "top table". The table that the bride, groom and their families were sitting on, slap bang in the middle of the room, had been named after the couple's number 1 "Jesus". I thought that was pretty cool! The whole wedding was awesome and fun and one joyously joyous occasion as 99% of weddings are!
On a related (though not obviously related) note I keep having the privilege of getting to know wonderful people who are going through all manner of horrendous circumstances far beyond their control and yet are more than coping with it. I'm not talking about minor bumps here, I'm talking about the kinds of circumstances that I couldn't even imagine going through let alone coping with. Not even these tallest of tsunami-esque waves are knocking them over. They are of varying personalities, ages, backgrounds, and yet they all have one thing in common. They've all been fixing their eyes on Jesus, and although they don't have a reason for why it's happening, they don't don't need to have a reason. For they are all, in amongst their sadness and difficulty, are continually finding hope and truth and comfort and love and barely being shaken because they know Him, have some idea of the love God has for them and what it is to live a full life in spite of your circumstances. Inspiring!
All these people, in their good times and their bad have discovered this secret. Jesus is their secret. And I see so many people living out this secret day by day. When I look at him, he fills my head with truth, reality, hope and helps me to see the world with clarity. In him I am witness to pure goodness and love and grace in all it's raw burning reality; I know and am completely known and still completely loved ...and that's barely scratching the surface of all the whys and the wonders! Words just don't cut it. I can find more than a strand of sense in this confused and crazy world when I look at Jesus.

Cup of Chai anyone?

 Recently I found this little recipe again, on a rolled up piece of scrap paper in a tea tin. It was acquired for me as a rather cheeky birthday present from a friend several years ago who pestered the wonderful tea makers at one of my favourite haunts in Glasgow for the recipe. It took me over 5 years to get round to making it and I've no idea why I hadn't before! It's yummmm and I had all the ingredients living on my spice shelf as a matter of course!

Anyway the one issue with this recipe is that there are no quantities (most likely a well kept secret!) Just funny little caution symbols and asterisks to indicate "a lot".

I did photograph how much I used the last time I made this,  but it wasn't as good as my first attempt. So, from two attempts with varying results, here are my top tips on making it.


1. My suggested quantities for 2 servings: 5 cardamom pods (take the cardamom out of the pod), 2 cinnamon sticks, about 3cm cubed chunk of ginger or 1 teaspoon of ground, 2 cloves, chilli to taste (chilli flakes is an easy way to do it), 4 black peppercorns (less if you prefer) or the equivalent. I used Darjeeling when making this and it tasted pretty good, so I don't think you need to be too pernickity on the tea front. Sugar and milk to taste.
2. Boil for a good 10 minutes and make sure you do a taste check before you add the milk
3. Allow to simmer after you've added the milk to bring out the flavour more.
4. Put in slightly more hot water than you think you need, boiling water evaporates a little.
5. Tea strainer is essential.
6. Experiment!

Enjoy :)

On the trials of buying a house

So over the Christmas holidays Mark and I decided; right Glasgow - we love this city, we're not going anywhere in medium-term future, let's buy somewhere to live. To be honest, the thought wouldn't have crossed my mind, but my husband is an accountant - nuff said.

So we decided that since we had a long holiday that extended a bit into January, on our return to Glasgow, we would blitz this buying a flat and nail it in a couple of weeks max.  We did manage to wade through a sea of mortgage providers and all that melarkey pretty successfully in that time period - Mark made a ton of spreadsheets, as he does, so that did the job quite nicely. We manage to view a good few flats in that time. But as for finding the flat, well it's mid Feb and considering the fact we still haven't found one we're happy with yet, we may have just been a little optimistic... See it turns out a nice flat in our budget is more than likely to have any of a whole range of problems.

Let me present to you three flats that we have seriously considered to illustrate:

Numero Un: Let's call it Knotweed flat - Great flat, convenient area for everything, good amount of space, has a converted attic (!!), very cheap!

Read the home report and... Japanese Knotweed in the back garden, asbestos in the roof, falling apart chimney (bear in mind this is a top floor flat) to name but a few "3" (the worst rating it could possibly get) level serious issues.

Do we take the risk or do we not?! A dilemma that we have yet to make up our minds conclusively about...

Numero Deux: aka Flat of Bling. This flat was in pretty much the same location as the first, had almost as much space minus the converted attic. Neighbours were nice (we even knew one of them!) Home report looked pretty good, the deco was in their words "better than average". Not sure if "better than average" meant tasteful; think silver sparkly toilet seat and multi-coloured lights embedded into the dining room floor.

Now you may think, what's the problem here, decoration is easy enough to change. But it's hard to consider changing it, when the less than likeable rather irritating owner gives a running commentary as she takes you round a tour of the flat on how much everything cost (a lot!), how she put her heart and soul into making it hers. As horrible as I found some of it, I didn't really feel I had the heart to buy it off her and then tear out all of her heart-felt blingy work.

Matter has been taken out of our hands at any case, because our solicitor thinks it's too expensive for what it is, and is currently trying to barter down the price. Secretly felt rather relieved about that.

Numero 3: "The house in a tower block" ticked all the boxes and it wasn't too far from where we lived now. The owners were really nice; that always sways me more than I think it should! But it seemed I was more attached to the area we had been aiming for because we thought we could afford it more than I thought, and the thought of moving further away from the beloved area where I work just now or some of my fantastic esol students who have recently also moved into that general direction was surprisingly less than appealing. We've had to change one of those tick boxes.

That's just a small number of the flats we've seen, and there have been some other possibilities on the horizon so it's not like this is all there is! But it most definitely has become more confusing and complicated than we thought it would become.

Here's some advice, if you ever fancy buying a place yourself and have never done it before.

- Have an idea of what you're looking for before you go looking for it - it saves time.
- Read the home report before you go view it. You get better at that the more you do it. I have become a master in home report skimming, I just keep my eyes out for those buzz words for example having a pitched roof is apparently pretty important, my dad convinced me on that one!
- An important question to consider, especially if it has any structural issues: is there a factor, and if there's no factor, are the neighbours nice and approachable?
- Turns out finding and buying a house/flat in 2 weeks is a little unrealistic, allow for a bit more time than that if you're gonna do it.
- Get a good solicitor you can trust, that helps a LOT!

Have to say, I'm enjoying the adventure of not knowing and having to let God lead us inch by inch.

Just watch this space.

A foray into food blogging

 I have really been enjoying reading food blogs of late. Mainly because I love food and love cooking. Notable recipes that I have tried and tested on blogs include: mint yoghurt pasta - unusual but really yum if you like tzatziki and really easy! And also Swizz Chard Tart, sounds good but tastes pretty good (though reduce the sugar if you ever want to try it). See the picture below for mine and my Canadian cousin's attempt -->

So I decided to do a little food blogging of my own. The recipes that people ask me for more than anything else are either curries (what with a Sri Lankan family and all!) or soup (since I make soup every day at work).

So today at the behest of Mr Parmaham I am blogging a lentil curry recipe which I knew as I grew up as parrapou (a tamil word with no fixed english spelling) and which you readers are most likely to know as dahl. NB this recipe is loosely based on how my mum showed me how to make it just before I left home, but there are 101 ways to make this. I've tried to give at least a couple of the variations hence why the overused parenthesis. This is how I made it tonight.

Lentil Curry (serves 2)

Ingredients:

1 green chilli finely chopped
1/2 white onion diced
2 garlic gloves diced
2 tomatoes diced (optional)
150g red lentils (approx)
4 cardamom pods (nearly essential)
1/2 tsp coriander seeds/mustard seeds (optional)
1 tsp cumin powder (essential)
1/2 tsp ground ginger (I would say essential!)
a dash of lemon/lime juice (approx 1 tablespoon)
a good amount of seasoning to taste

Dice the onion, finely chop the garlic and green chilli. If you want it spicy keep the seeds in. As you can see, I did (unsurprisingly!)



Stir-fry these in a little oil with the seeds and pods (on this occasion I used coriander seeds and cardamom pods) until onions are soft (but not brown).

Add red lentils and hot water to just covering the lentils. Add to that the ground spices. On this occasion I used cumin, ginger and a pinch of ground coriander. Season at this point. Bring to the boil, then cover with the lid and simmer at the lowest possible heat. At this stage, add the lemon/lime juice. I used lime juice today.

After another 5 mins or so add the diced tomatoes.

Keep stirring and adding water until the curry turns into a dollopy slop as below (takes around 15 minutes to get to that stage). You need to keep checking it and stirring on regular occasions otherwise it sticks to the bottom. Don't worry if you add a little too much water, just take the lid off and turn the heat up a little until it looks like it should. Now it's ready to eat!

Tastes particularly good accompanied with rice, yoghurt and a boiled egg - hooooo yeah! :)

resisting the post-christmas rush

The world went fairly still yesterday. Apart from my friends who work in health services, most people and their families were fortunate to have a complete day of work off which didn't come out of their annual leave. From our perspective: from a flat that looks out onto a busy road, that was literally the case. Yesterday I barely heard a car; this morning I was woken up by a persistent car horn. The traffic has most definitely resumed. My email inbox has received a flurry of "Boxing Day Deals" and I know some high street shops will have had people queueing outside eager to get in there and get their bargains.The TV certainly didn't stop over Christmas, it's a hive of Christmas specials and films and advice on how to cook the best roast dinner. The temptation is certainly there to leap back in, to embrace the hectic and the crazy and the mindless and the empty rush that precedes and follows the 25th December. But I'm actively resisting today.


Christmas is such a stress fest for so many people, some out of choice, some not. I consider myself fortunate in that regard and particularly pity those who work in retail. We went on a ridiculously late food shop the other night in prep for Christmas dinner just for a laugh and got chatting to the cashier who was definitely feeling the pressure of work and having to balance this with Christmas shopping and caring for and cooking Christmas dinner for her ageing dad. I find it sad that Christmas has been turned into this: a bunch of boxes you have to tick, expectations you have to meet. As you will be aware if you've read any of my previous Christmas posts, I do love all the trappings and the tinsel and the carols and the mince pies and the excuse to cook and eat yum food and see family. But all this rush and stress that comes along with it for some people, just for one day.,, just seems ridiculous.

I am so aware right now as I listen to the traffic this Boxing Day morning, that in our culture, we need rest, we need space, we need to "Be still and know God", we need to know that these words you see on Christmas cards "hope, joy peace, love" aren't merely platitudes but are fully available and there for the taking, in and because of that Godwhobecameaman baby in the story. Come in God, interrupt our busy lives and open our eyes to the reality of you.

being grateful

The last few days have been pretty wet and dreary here in Glasgow (though perhaps a good op to capture some good rain photos - see previous blog post) and I have been racked with tiredness, but my days have been pretty full and I'm lifting my eyes up and remembering the beauty and the goodness I have experienced over the last wee while.

I got one of those once in a lifetime chances to play in the band in a minority languages competition described rather favourably here. It's a long time since I've seen such incredible views on a flight and every single one of our four flights had them, one breath-taking sunrise, plains-worth of clouds from a top-down view, two lots of spectacular mountains! Udine itself was a medium-sized, quirky, Italian town nearer to Slovenia than Venice, friendly (sometimes too friendly) locals, delicious hams and wines, some pretty architecture - and we had a lot of fun there!

In Udine and in other places there has been much good music, both getting to play, getting to listen to and getting to dance to enjoyed. Genres to dance to have included some crazy drums at a jungle-stylee worship night, and Austrian Croat reggaerockrap.

After about 6 weeks without it, thanks to a belated visit to the doctor's, I have finally regained my sense of smell. I am soooo appreciating this right now. I had been drinking mostly hot ribena because tea smelt of nothing and tasted bland (heart-breaking when you have a large and eclectic tea collection) I hadn't realised how much the lack of smell was affecting my taste-buds (there's a thought in that!), I've been bowled over by just about everything I've been eating - and I'd like to keep that level of appreciation up!

I also am very grateful for the variety of good times spent with good friends. I love every moment I get to spend my with my Chinese mums esol class:- I always come out of there with a massive smile on my face! I am feeling very appreciative of my roomie right now having spent most of the last 2 weeks without him.

I am also especially grateful to have a God who doesn't give up on me and who is always always always faithful and loving - flipping amaaaazing!

beautiful things

Ever seen the first sequence in the film Amelie? I think it's one of my favourite parts of the film. I love the way they describe the characters by their little quirks and favourite past-times. Recently (by doing them) I've remembered how good doing some of my favourite things are incredibly refreshing. I was quite good at incorporating them into life as a student: it involved a lot of spontaneity and creativity and having people round as often as possible and appreciating beautiful things and going to the park a lot!
This working thing and trying to balance a timetable with an uber-busy husband makes it a bit more difficult. But I think it's just a mentality thing, I think I'd just forgotten that life wasn't all about being busy. I made myself a list of things (mostly creative) that I want to do on a regular basis/over the next few months. It includes going to a gig (not just one I'm playing at) at least once a month, perfecting a beautiful piece of classical music on both cello and piano as well as having fun with the band, having people round a lot, painting, learning to sew better, taking pictures on the theme of "rain" (thought it might be help me to appreciate Glasgow rain better, finish putting together our wedding photo albums (yes a year and a half later and we still haven't finished it!) So far I've managed to sew a book cover (a big achievement for me!) and take some rain photos.
Making beautiful things helps me to better appreciate the God-made beauty around me, in the things that he made directly like the rain, but also the beauty that flows out of the creativity he put in people.  (plus it will help me to watch less iplayer). I want to live life fully with wide-open eyes and an open heart.

On the subject of "Beautiful Things", here's a beautiful version of a song with that very name.

pure dead brilliant

I have to admit, I am very easily influenced when it comes to accents and slang. My accent changes a lot depending on who I'm talking to. But I have found that a year and a half of working in Maryhill is more than enough time for the teenage lingo there to infiltrate my every day vocab and not just when I'm at work.

I have been inadvertently using: 

- The classic adverbs "pure" and "dead", as illustrated below in Prestwick Airport's slogan "Pure dead Brilliant".

- "actual" used instead of "really" e.g. instead of "Are you really!?" in Maryhill you will hear "Areyeakchul?!"

- "stay" where the vowel is /aɪ/ as in the vowel in "bye"

I have yet to pick up such beauties as:
- the past tense of jump "jamp"

- "am ar" = I am

You've gotta love the peculiarities that sprout from the English language!

highway code

I had a few moments of pure panic yesterday, as Mark and I compared notes on the next few months and all the stuff that we knew was coming up/commitments and stuff we both did, and realised that the next 4 months are going to be more than a little bit hectic for both of us! I've said this before: I have no issues with the present, but do sometimes struggle to look the future full in the face without a squirmy "ahhowamIgoingtohandlethis" feeling in my stomach. So I wrote this:

See that distance,

That hypothetical, distant, not so distant

horizon of days, months, seconds, hours.

Minutes merge into one colossal cloud,

Potential struggles, breaks, ups, downs, probable mistakes;

looming over, crawling skin, twisting heart strings…

Stop.

Catch your breath.

Cast fear aside. That’s it.

Breathe.

And take another look.

See the hands that hold, adventure ahead.

Listen to love.

Walk today.

I didn't know whether to cheer really loudly or cry (ok admittedly I burst into tears) when I watched a tutsi woman at 46:33 during this documentary - http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b012lttt/Roger_Genocide_Baby/ - say that God helped her to forgive the people who murdered all 12 members of her family, and see how her and the perpetrators live side by side, even look after each others' children! Sounds like a weird thing to celebrate, but I was so moved by it - forgiveness is so powerful, so free-ing, full reconciliation even more so. And it was Jesus' sacrifice that made it so! Yesss for forgiveness! Hooooooray for God!!

A good walk to do.

The Fife Coastal Path - who would have thought. The East Coast, tamer than the West but rather pretty. We started at my parents, conveniently located a couple of miles away from the start from the path.

It's signposted by this.

(nice colourful logo don't you think?)

The route from North Queensferry to Aberdour, starts in some nice woods. There were lots of dog walkers and I mean LOTS of dog walkers. Beware of over-enthusiastic wet dogs. We got clambered over twice.

Do this bit in the spring.

Then you hit the weirdest part of the route. As the woods open out and you can see the coast curve inwards, you pass a quarry on your left and a rubbish dump on your right. (Yes we are weird enough to have photographed it!)

Then you pass through the town of Dalkeith and as you come out and hit the coastline again, there are some rocks (if you're quiet enough you may come across an unsuspecting merman), and an industrial relic/musical instrument.

Then some more woods, beautiful views...

...blossoms, followed by a walk around a "dangerous" radioactive part of the firth, then finally long straight roman-road-esque paths lined with daffodils and more dogs of course (I banned Mark from the camera at this point as I was despairing that we would actually finish the walk what with the amount of times we stopped to take photos).

And finally Aberdour...

A good walk all in all.

financial security pffft!

Friday last week was quite a momentous day in the life of the Spybeys. Mark got his exam results; the verdict of which would have had ramifications on his job, our financial security, our lives, (also its the last day of my current job-share partner. I've only ever shared the job with her so twill be really very different without her - but that's an aside).

The last couple of months, pretty much since Mark told me a couple of weeks before his resit that he thought he would probably pass it 3rd time round (this was just before his second attempt!) I decided that I could live without the old financial security. I think in theory I could always say that but faced with prospect of insecurity I realised it was true. It was quite free-ing really. I realise I had absolutely no worries about having enough money because God has provided for me time and time again.

Like when my dad lost his job of 24 years when I was 16, when I spent summers unemployed until I got to the last few pounds and then got a temp job just when I needed it the most, getting a job in the tearoom when Mark and I got married and the two of us surviving on his earnings was going to be a stretch. I wasn't desperately in need any of those times. (when are we ever in our comfortable western society?) But still God was gracious enough to provide for us nonetheless.

Is this what it means to know the secret of being content...?

As it happens he did pass (!! - that was a total miracle just so you know, since he thought that exam had gone worse than his first attempt), but I'm not going to let the secret of being content slip through my fingers. Knowing Jesus, being loved by him, living life with him and all the adventures that throws up:- that's good enough for me!

A pretty place to visit

If you'd like to visit the Isle of Mull, some advice for you:

- Mull is an island but it's still quite big. Booking one B&B on the south west of the island and another on the north when you're on bikes and not super-strong cyclists, is not a good idea. (thank goodness for googlemaps, it saved us just in time!)

- Mull is pretty but very hilly. Therefore, cycling long distances having not cycled for a while can be very painful especially when cycling against the wind.

- Don't trust the weather forecast. Fortunately we had it the right way round. Tis always nice when the weather forecast says nothing but "thundery showers" the day before you leave and you are pleasantly surprised whenever there's a patch of blue sky and even more delighted when there's nearly a whole day and a bit of sunshine (not to dissimilar to daily life in Glasgow really!)

- Try the cheese. It's yuuum!

I was tidying our room the other day and I found these (two of four, I don't know what happened to the other two) ...

In case you were wondering, yes both these cards are for me, and no I am neither a nephew nor a gran.

From some of my Chinese elt students of very low-level English. I love them :)

paranoia

Being married to a man who loves to talk about future plans, dreams and loves idea-ising, I have quickly discovered that I am very much a woman of the present. I can barely face thinking about tomorrow without feeling my stomach churning, let alone next year, let alone 5 years down the line. In one sense, this living in the present thing seems to work well for me. Not only can I justify it with bible verses pretty well but I certainly live a pretty full busy mostly happy life.

But you have to talk about the future sometimes. And my fear of this has at times bordered on the ridiculous. To the point of not wanting to talk about a coming year when Mark needed to book holidays in advance. I am getting better at this kind of thing.

But the deep-rooted fear is still there and it's fear of failure. I'm afraid of making "the wrong plans", afraid of messing up. My head can barely cope with the idea of me being older and doing "scarier" things that "older" people (and people my own age) do! Mainly because I'm convinced that the me I know now, wouldn't be able to cope in those situations.

Why am I bringing this up today of all days...? What has this got to do with Easter Sunday?

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know he holds the future.
And life is worth the living.
Just because He lives."

I've had those old hymn lyrics in my head all day.

It's not just because "He lives", it's that he died and rose again - that's a big deal! But what does Jesus rising from the dead have to do with my future and life in this world? At least some people probably know that generally Christians say that they don't have to fear death because they know that by dying on the cross, Jesus simultaneously defeated death and took the punishment meant for us so that we can have eternal life - life beyond physical death (heaven and all that). But it's more than just that.

Jesus died and rose and because of this: I am completely set free from sin and guilty and shame - that doesn't mean past sin is forgiven. It includes present and future. And it means that he's gradually changing my default setting which had once been set to messing up to living a life of grace and hope and joy and love (I like this new life very much!).

And... I get to be in relationship with GOD. I can talk to him, hear him, know that He is always with me. This is BIG! He has enormous love and grace and patience for my weaknesses AND he knows and "holds the future" AND he helps me through it; leads me by the hand through thick and thin. (AND AND AND...)

I can trust him absolutely. I have trusted him thus far, and yes bad things have happened, tough things that at the time I haven't been able to understand, some of which I still don't understand. But even when I've felt I couldn't cope, I have got through because he's helped me. I look back now and think, min a few years ago I never would have imagined being capable of doing all the things I do day to day now.

Jesus died and rose again. YAAAAASSSSSSSS!!