Friday, September 26, 2008

The pros and cons of juggling

to juggle (as according to verb meaning "to keep (several objects, as balls, plates, tenpins, or knives) in continuous motion in the air simultaneously by tossing and catching."

This sums up beautifully the nature of my life just now at uni. But having been out of the way of it these last few months, I've been finding it quite a shock to the system to be thrust back in there all of sudden, and with more objects in continuous simultaneous motion than ever before.
So here, to stop myself from ranting, are the pros and cons in bullet point form:

- variety is the spice of life
- I like being busy
- I tend to get things more productively and effectively done when I only have short bursts at them

- I never have quite enough time to just focus on one thing. Just when I get warmed into something I have to move onto something else.
- I do not like being too busy

I just realised I've pretty much contradicted myself in every one of those statements, each advantage is also a disadvantage which is also an advantage which is also a disadvantage.... hmmm... en bref, I think it's just gonna take a bit of time to get used to it again!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

a forgotten poem

Was skimming through old writings and things on my usb and came across this, a forgotten poem I think I'd written just under a year ago. I want to post it because I think it is a testament to hope and healing because things are so different now to what they were then...

Who would have thought that it could be like this,
could be like this to miss...
We use all those clich├ęs
A hole in the heart, a piece of me out
Feeling half empty, incomplete, worn
But to be honest, most of the time
It isn’t quite like that
I just feel quite sad.
And a little bit broken
Though that’s not all bad.
And most of the time I don’t notice a thing
Even when I’m aware
I still smile, shout, laugh, sing
I still feel a joy that bubbles within
But hurting, still hurting
And tears are so easy...

So I'm waiting on healing
A divine intervention
At least I know one thing
I am alive

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

A moment of silliness

The night before last I was expecting a call from Mark and stupidly put my phone in the part of my room where I get sporadic reception and then fell asleep. I woke up a couple of hours later in the middle of the night after having dreamt that he had been kidnapped by a Japanese gang who then came to my door and spoke to me. I didn't see him until I heard him shout "If you dare come here and speak to my girlfriend again I'll..." as he was being carried down the stairs! I then tried to hunt him down, get some help from some friends and rescue him but didn't get very far before I woke up feeling somewhat alarmed! It was sooo vivid that I picked up my phone and phoned him.
He answered...
"... grunt ..."
"I just dreamt that you were kidnapped by a Japanese gang!"
...long pause... "It's ok. I haven't been kidnapped. I'm ok."
The next morning it was suggested that he could have been held at gunpoint and made to say that... somehow I think not.

The subconscious is a funny thing...!

on being a samaritan and sniffling

Today was my first shift as part of the international welcome programme. I feel like a double agent with a double agenda! On the one hand I'm trying to be a good paid university employee, on the other, I'm trying to be a Jesus loving "good Samaritan" i.e. going out of my way to help my neighbour (the international student in need of friends). I'm loving the fact that I can basically do both at the same time! I sooo want a job that allows me to do that after I graduate!

In other news, I spent last week camping on what rapidly became a swamp (as seen in this photo--->) on the Welsh border at the national CU Leaders conference Forum... much much banter was had, mud, frugal but funny meals, more mud, severe weather warnings, getting our cars stuck in the ditch on an escapade to the pub, laughter and some excellente chances to get fed and taught and trained! I especially recommend these talks here which you can listen to online. "Eye-opening" is probably how best to describe them. After a week of wet socks, I think we're all sniffling now...