Tuesday, March 05, 2013

no limits

I realised recently that I had been believing a big lie that had been so engrained below the surface that though I knew in my head it wasn't true, it was deeply buried into my subconscious and affecting the way I thought and lived without my realising. The lie was that my weakness could limit God. When I'm talking about weakness, I mean those little character traits that I have and which I think we all have, which make certain things more difficult for us than it would for someone else. I kind of discovered how wrong I'd been by accident...

I had for a while succumbed to a numb acceptance that I was and would never really be a morning person and that a lack of self-discipline which hindered how I used my time was something which would never go away. That was just the way I was, and that was that.

And then a few weeks ago, this all changed. I was staying with a lovely lady in Paris when helping out with a conference there. We had both been up late, and my host was a light sleeper and clearly needed a lie-in in the morning so had gone to bed a good while before me. Just as I was going to bed at some unearthly hour, I realised that if I set my alarm it would probably wake her up and disturb her sleep. I needed to be up for a certain time to meet the rest of the team I was in Paris with. So I asked God, on a whim, to wake me up in the morning. I've done it before when I've needed it and its worked so I figured it could very probably work again. Bang-on 2 hours before I needed to leave, not only did I wake up (and wake up rather quickly and easily, which almost never happens), but I woke up immediately with an acute awareness of God (this also rarely happens!) It was as though I had woken up in every sense of the word - physically, mentally, spiritually! Something just clicked in my head then and there, and I realised this didn't have to be a one-off. I could ask God every night to wake me up like that EVERY morning! So I've been trying to do that ever since, and most days (when I remember to ask) he does!

It may seem like a small thing but to me it was HUGE. Something which I never thought could possibly change has changed and this gives me such hope and a renewed expectation for what God can and actually wants to do here on earth in and through us!

For a good while now, I've had this story about a miracle that Jesus did in my head. I love the fact that Jesus just tells the disciples to put their nets down into this sea which they, the experienced seasoned fishermen had caught nothing after much sweat and toil, and the nets instantly filled. I've started reading miracles like that and the multiplying of the fish and the bread with new eyes. It's one thing to know this in your head but to actually transfer an abstract concept from the Bible to a physical and tangible reality is another matter altogether. But I believe the facts are thus: God's power AND love are unlimited, God's resources are unlimited and those resources are unbelievably graciously accessible! All we need to do is ask for his help, let him teach us and try doing things his way. Exciting!!

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