inspirations

My Ammappa (tamil for mum's dad) passed away in Sri Lanka last week after 3 months on his death's bed. The strength of my grandparents and my mum for that matter has never ceased to amaze me! Thing is, they seemed to get all their strength from the best source of all. so maybe I shouldn't be all that surprised. Tis inspiring that's for sure! I remember one phonecall to Sri Lanka to my gran who in one breath told me about how Ammappa had been falling out of bed confused by morphine at 3am and another joked around about my recent romantic affiliation. They were and are never self-centred or self-focussed even when they had every right to be. And my mum is the same. That's what I want to be like even when the world's collapsing round me! I want to be like Jesus...

Things I have learnt in the past few days

- an 87p packet of antihistamines is too good to be true. I appear to still be sneezing like a madwoman this morning!
- the french dept is suffering cutbacks and my course choices have been affected, no one cares about languages in the UK :(
- one should go to the optician reguarly
- the gospel of Mark is exciting!
- the HMV on Argyle Street caters for people of obscure music taste like myself, the HMV on Sauchihall Street doesn't
- getting a paid job that you would more than happily do for free rocks!

scrrrumptious

One of the things I loved most about south of France culture was the lifestyle that revolves around eating. The french reeeeally know how to enjoy their food! Meals are usually long, they last several courses, each one enjoyed round the table with family and friends. No one ever hurries to eat their meal. Even at school, the lunch hour was 2 hours long, an hour of eating and hour for clubs and recreational activity. There was even a stash of wine and cheese for staff who felt the urge! My favourite meals were those when I was invited round for dinner by a french family and we sat eating till well after dark. Every bite is savoured, seasoned with avid conversation, sometimes silences.
There are few things I enjoy more than spending a couple of hours at the table eating a scrumptious meal with people I love. Anyone who knows me will know how excited I get about a plate of good food! (see photo above) I love to savour every bite and then spend loads of time just sitting with the people at the table afterwards digesting :) hmmm (satisfied siiiigh)
Do I have that same attitude to spending time with God? I think that time should be as unrushed, savoured, slowly digested, seasoned with both conversation and silence... And yet so often it isn't... I read this a couple of years ago and came across it again last night. It strikes a chord because it's too often true of me. Makes me think of that banquet parable... although I know it isn't necessarily talking about that, when I read it I can't help but think on how often I end up making excuses!
It's more than just that though, I was thinking about how Jesus describes himself as the Bread of life. But that isn't the only reference made to where our sustenance should come from...
Comparing time with God to time with a yummy scrummy meal helps me to think about my eagerness to spend time with God as much as how I do it. En bref quality time enjoyed.

Energy

Yesterday marked the end of an almost solid 3 weeks of youth/kids work. SU Music Camp followed by Maranatha Camp followed by my Glasgow church (Findlay)'s holiday club. Now I am regularly described as a highly energetic person. Once I start dancing on a night out I can keep going and going and going and going. Now I knew I would be tired from doing two residential christian camps in a row but I didn't expect the kind of tiredness I ended up with. I expected sleep deprivation, physical exhaustion, tiredness of the kind where you can't keep your eyes open. Instead I ended up with the kind that seeped out all the joy I had in doing almost everything I loved doing. I wasn't that physically tired and yet this kind of tiredness was so much more zapping. I read this for the first time in ESV translation at the beginning of last week when I was feeling at my most zapped. It says "those who wait for the Lord will renew their strength..."
Waiting does not come naturally to me, I like to do as much as possible as soon as possible. I usually do first and think afterwards which is sometimes good and other times not so.
But I don't think this waiting is procrastinating, inactive kind of waiting around. It's knowing and remembering and seeking and listening in stillness, it's opening the curtains of my heart every day and enjoying the warmth of the sun. These past few days I've been learning how to wait again and I've feel like I've just woken up from a long sleep. Energy and motivation have returned. Ironic since I've spent every morning in the last week running and singing and dancing exuberantly with primary school age kids. I've been very aware of this; his energy at work within me.

My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever. Ps73:26